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June 20, 2003
Have You Seen Him?
Okay, what started out as just a bothersome somewhat annoying observation has now become full blown rage. Why is Clay Aiken going to be on the cover of Rolling Stone when he, in fact, did not win American Idol? I understand, the second place winner does have a place in our hearts because I see Justin Guarini and his mama everywhere, but this is downright ludicrous. Where's Ruben? I demand answers. How is he going to win American Idol and then disappear altogether from the media? Farai Chideya better write something about this in NEWSWEEK. This is starting to get personal. I'm not happy about it. I want Ruben, and I want him today. No more of this nonsense.
Ruben can't co-host The View? He can't be on Regis & Kelly? He can't be on the cover of People? He can't have his own traveling concert where Clay is not on the bill? Wait, did he already do all those things and I just missed them? Even still, I feel there is a lacking of coverage on Ruben. I truly feel this way, straight from the heart man. It's killing me softly. What is the problem here? America voted. He is what we want. Where is he? You see, you see! I had faith for a minute in the pride of voting, but now, I'm back in the rut. You could vote all day long, and still not get what you want even if you got what you wanted. This is blasphemy, hogwash, and I've been run amok. Just like Bobby said, "You never say thanks girl, THAT AIN'T RIGHT."
But, on the bright side, Whitney did say, "It's not right, but it's okay, I'm gonna make it anyway." I just want to fly without wings, okay. Is that so much to ask?
Ruben. Man, give me a sign. Let me know that you hear me. Let me know that you're there for me. I miss you so much. I'm so annoyed to be real with you. Can't we just give a brotha his props? Are people talking about this? Is there a controversy surrounding this? What is going on with this story? I just know that I want Ruben in my Old Navy commercials. I want him on all my magazines. I want a Ruben visor. I want a Ruben bobble head doll. I want the Ruben media blitz that I so deserve.
I'm no Clay fan. Sorry, I'm just not. Call me a hater if you want to. I did not vote for him, and he is not the winner. And I don't think a second place winner ought to grace the cover of that magazine. They've been slipping lately anyway. They had Christina Aguilera on an issue about women in rock. She can sing. She is talented, but she's not playing any guitar, is she? Or have I been missing something? And now Clay. That's doing way too much. If Ruben can't be on the cover, nobody from AI gets the cover. It is my decree. Since when do we glorify second place? Aren't we, as Americans, all about second place being the first loser? Or have I become entrenched in some other culture where dads don't kill other dads over a children's soccer game?
Rolling Stone had this all planned. I'm supposed to be in a rage and therefore talk about the magazine enough to actually go out and buy it. I refuse. I will do no such thing. I wish I had an ounce of real energy to spend on this. I'd call up a radio station or two and request the hell out of that Wings song. But I can't sit on hold. By the time I got through, I'd be in a rage over being on hold. Have to stay focused for this type of anger.
Seriously, though. Where's Ruben? Is this one big episode of Punk'd. They're getting us all, you guys. This is good, Ashton. This one is brilliant. Doesn't Ruben have a publicist? Throw me a bone here.
Posted by melissah at June 20, 2003 04:29 PM