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March 14, 2007

Don't Muddy Yourself Up

Just real quick because I can't contain myself --

I love Mikey Minden.

Before I introduce him to those of you that are totally slippin’ if you don’t know who I’m talking about, I must first say I love The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the New Doll.

It’s my favorite show. It might be better than America’s Next Top Model. I know, that’s a lofty claim but I’m serious. PCD is like America’s Next Top Model meets American Idol meets Making the Band (Danity Kane) meets Dancelife. I really can’t think of a better combination of shows. Can you? I hated Dancelife, but I wanted to like it so badly just to see dance auditions and dance outfits. Pure entertainment, hello. I don’t like American Idol anymore because I don’t root for anyone because I’m bored. I used to be a caller! Do you know how many calls I put in for Ruben? Do you know? Like, 18 or something. Yeah, get there. I just admitted that. And Danity Kane is a real group now so that show is over. And then Tyra lost her mind and got rid of Kathleen day one on ANTM so it’s like, um, you just dropped The. Best. Part. Of. The. Show. So it's like, now what?

Pussycat Dolls is now what. That’s what’s up.

First of all, watch some older videos of Mikey Minden. Here, here and here. Mikey is the choreographer for the PCD. Upon first glance, to the viewer that does not have keen observation skills, he seems bitchy. But he is not. He is just speaking what we all know as: the truth. He is trying to help you. He really is!

Girl, you can’t come up in here in a bad dance outfit. Everything he said about the ripped this, the bleached that – all true. Just wear black. Come strong with your shit and you won’t have to be all that concerned about your outfit. This is what I am always screaming at my television every night. Girl, what are you wearing to this audition? That’s what I am always saying. Slow your roll with those arm-warmers. Are you serious in those pink high heel lace-up hiking boots? Can you believe those ever caught on? And furthermore can you believe people still try to get away with them in dance world?

I have always loved dance shows. I used to rush home to watch Princess on Dance Party USA. Remember she had the teardrop on her face under her eye? Kelly Ripa was on that show too, you know. I loved Soul Train. I am demanding that we have old episodes of Soul Train playing on huge screens when you walk into my party where I celebrate the fact that I just got married. Yes, it kills me to say reception. Receptions don’t get crunk. Parties do! Hello. One of Coral’s first jobs is to find a Soul Train Scramble Board. We need it at the party.

It’s like my life is a dream come true. First, I got engaged to a really nice person who has fantastic taste in diamonds. Not to trivialize the beauty of commitment or anything but…

My ring is gorgeous. There’s no getting around it. I don’t want to seem obnoxious, but I look at my ring and my heart bursts. I can feel my heart bursting out of my chest. I just look at it and discover new things about it. It’s three stones in a delicate and plain setting, but I keep finding new things about it. Like the other day, I was driving right in the path of the sun and I looked up at the ceiling of my car and there were tiny white lights dancing up there, everywhere! The diamond was reflecting the sun and the light all over the place and I was like, Wow I’m getting married!

And second, The Pussycat Dolls show is on every week. Who has a better life? Who, you tell me. Not even Mary-Kate Olsen can say her life rules more right now and she’s a tiny billionaire with access to front row seats at Fashion Week. Even she does not know this level of joy.

On the first episode of PCD, Mikey said he can’t deal with fainters. This fool pushed the sick girl aside and said, “And now for the girls who won’t faint…” and the girl that fainted had a virus that she eventually spread to the whole group. Do you know how amazing/hilarious that was?

Mikey says to “make it nasty” and I understand what he’s saying. When I first saw Ciara Promise video I was like, Ooh that’s nasty but I was still all up in the video.

I just love Mikey. He’s the best part of the show for me. Even better than the Filipina girl Melissa R. Yes, I’m biased and love her because she’s Filipino and because she has my name. So? What about it?

I’m sorry. Lil Kim is a judge on the show. Fresh out da pen, dude.

This is the best show ever. Get your shit together and start watching so we can discuss. It's the best. Mikey, if you're out there and you get this message -- I love you.

Posted by melissah at March 14, 2007 03:22 PM